love u...

sometimes it's better for me to love someone by skipping and staying away from the confession part. this is the only way for me to love someone without hurting them, like what i've always did. i love you, what more can i say. it has been quite awhile already since the last time i c u.too bad i cant c u that often, i will only c u when i need help. i cant tell you about this because i dont want to damage the perfect part of you. you are good looking, admittedly, but sometimes i dislike you, cant tell you why. i enjoy this kind of things, silently admiring you, silently....coz i dont want to be with you, its weird but i enjoy this. when i've got nothing to do, i think of you, when i need you, i will start to imagine that as if you are next to me. i love you because you dont treat me like a princess, i hate people tolerate whenever i need fights. thats girl/ lady, always searching for exteremes.perhaps i am the selfish one, i will imagine when i need you and i will forget about you while i dont need you. anyhow,i am not a loser in managing a relationship, i can be smart and successful too when- i found the right one.

HK?? M'sia?? HK?? M'sia??????????

29th of April, yesterday was the first time I left my house alone and took the flight alone to Hong Kong. I don’t mind to be alone frankly haha. Well, I actually cried in the train because of my dad. This trip is actually a last minute confirmation trip so I didn’t have the time and the gut to tell my dad about this but he found out through my mom enentually so he scolded me. Actually I believed he scolded me due to the $$ issue haha oh ya, I cried because I felt bad for not informing him, I believe despite money issue, it is also about the safety problem. My sister and my bro-in-law need to work during weekdays so eventually I need to stay at home all by myself and that’s the reason why I am so free to write this article haha. Staying apart from my second sis-Amanda is quite….hmmm is like missing something but I am NOT lonely AMANDA haha anyway,I will always miss you muaxxx
Actually I would really like to make an apology over here to Rick Lee. I am so sorry that I couldn’t make it to your show. Don’t know why, I felt so useless, I should have just tell Jane that I really really wanted to go to your show but I am GUTLESS, fuck it. I believe that show is going to be fun since I will have zero opportunity to do modeling again because I might be taking my degree in Hong Kong.
I have made this trip and sacrificed the show(this opportunity is quite precious to me cause Rick is the only person who wants me to become his model haha) because I came to HK to do some research on the uni over here. Haih.i have created another problem now, I don’t how am I supposed to tell my dad about this, he is going to be really upset because if I really move away from him, then nobody will play gu-zheng for him anymore… and of coz I don wish to quit playing it….
I love everything around me, I love everyone around me but I am confused, I don’t know whether should I stay in Malaysia or move to HK…part of me feel like going, part of me asking me to stay in M'sia....sigh anyhow, I believe everything is destined, I don’t have the power to rewrite my destiny since it has been written, stated and unchangeable. I am going to stick with the happy life from now on and continue playing with my Mario game TADAAAAAAA.

been forced:(

Well, admittedly, there's one person out there who got a really ‘thick skin’, even bullets also cannot get through haha well she asked me to write a passage about her and 6 other human-beings. Actually, it’s very easy to describe them, especially by using one word-SMART.
They are only smart in one thing, smart in being silly hahaha they are my college mate, classmate (unfortunately) and gang mate as well. Ren never force me to write this passage, no, she never, never. She only used the gun to point at me and ‘remind’ me how lovely she is, how adorable they are etc bla bla bla. She never force me, seriously. Sob sob.
I really have a good time with them, especially when they pinch me, they bully me, I have spent a really good moment with them, I really do..sob sob. I can’t blame them for doing that because I’m too adorable kekekeehahha (see!! That’s the consequence for mixing up with them for too long-- self-praised)
Well, spending time with them is really nice, somehow I feel like reversing to the secondary school life, kind of miss my sec school friends..
This is life, different stages have different companies, it is extremely excited because you have to learn to use different skills to engage with different people..

who is she????

She is my second stupid sis. She got a smaller size(every part of her haha), it’s weird coz she is elder than me. I believe I have soaked up all the proteins that were supposed to be sucked by her haha sometimes I’m jealous!! I was wandering why fats like me more hmm, answerless question haha but sometimes I do believe that God is fair to everyone, He awards you something but somehow He wants you to feel that you are lack of something(so vain haha).
This has proven that no one is perfect but as long as you know how to define “GRATIFICATION” or perhaps “SATISFACTION”, then you will feel that He is fair, He treats you nicely and you will no longer a miserable, lost or depress person.
Back to her, she is an easy-to-please girl, she has a downright adorable personality, a mouth which will never spit out any vulgar languages….oh gosh, MOM, I’m sorry, I lie, forgive me hahahahaha whatever I have mentioned about her, the sweet and generous way to praise her are all FAKE!!!!!
She is an evil keke she got a sweet look, she might tastes as sweet as a candy but you will no longer think the same after knowing her hehe she’s sweet and the sweetness can be really harmful to your tooth!! Haha
To be frank, she is a person who can really see through your heart, she is observant and caring( can’t really praise her, makes me feel sick haha) you will tear open your heart in front of her because you will know that your secrets are safe with her and she can helps you to break your false feeling and make you feel better.
Though she is a bit unbearable, a bit troublesome, a bit slow(mentally and physically), a bit mood swing and so much of a bit bits….she and Jane are still my dearest silly sisssss

bye-bye.....hooooooo

It has been a mess recently but fortunately, I have brought myself back to the origin. The fucking mess has begun right after I got my super duper ‘in’ haircut, that’s pretty disappointed that most of the people weren’t trendy enough to take a really nice look at it haha. Well, because this is Malaysia hehe. Jane(aka stupid sis) has comforted me. She told me many of the girls in Hong Kong had this haircut and it is stylish. Although what she had said never make me feel any better, I would still like to thank her for being there while I felt depressed(so-called) haha the distance have failed to make us apart(love u idiot).
Come to think of it, I was quite stupid for being so desperate for compliments. I live for my own and I stand on my own, why must I care so much about others’ perceptions. As Rick said: as long as you are happy of what you are doing then why must you care about what other people have said about you?? Lick your own ass and stay out of my business!!!
It’s time for me to say bye-bye to my prior attitude and thoughts. Hate the vulnerable me, hate the stupid me……hahaha new year, new hairstyle and new ME!! no doubt about it, dude..

' MODELS' ' MUST READ!!!!!

What the hell is wrong with those people nowadays?! Well, to make it clear, I’m referring this statement to those (self-declare) ‘models’/ so called models..

Admittedly, to be a part of the members of modeling industry is something that would ‘upgrade’ your ‘standard’. Perhaps??? but please please please, I’m begging those people, please stop showing (as if) ‘I’m a model, don’t envy' look.. well, if you think that ‘I have what it takes to become a model’ or ‘I’m eligible to become the wateva country next top model.’ , GO AHEAD!! But please please, I’m begging again, don’t ever say/mention that you are a model until you are loaded with a long job-waiting-list.

“oh. Me? oh I’m a model. Ya ya I’m a model.” Bla bla bla.. this is the most common answer that you will get from those people who like to brag around about their ‘modelling career’. Have you ever noticed that this kind of answer will only be replied by those ‘model’ who only participated in a very least one show and in somewhere that we wouldn’t know and make us doubt whether that place is existed or not?

I’m absolutely not looking down on these people you know. Somehow, I would like to get my ass off from the seat and clap and cheer for them. I adore them. I admire them. Their bravery and their absolute courageous keep on forcing me to fit and squeeze them into my 'role-model’s list' !!! (why squeeze? coz there are too many of them.)

p/s: whatever I have mentioned above is truly just a fair comment. I can defend myself by using Justification if you insist on charging me under the act of Defamation hahahahaha. Like it or not is up to you. Nothing to do with me.You want to read it or not I can’t force you. But I believe you already read it or maybe take a glance of it since you are reading this…..

was wandering about....SEX

Some people declared that sex can be described as a muffin. It looks ordinary but it is magically tasty. SEX?? What’s that? Is it delicious? Is it irresistible? Could it be memorable? Would it be some sort of addiction? One last question.. are you capable enough to bear the consequences, despite of the positive?

Can love breeds without sex? In the other way round, can you make out with somebody who only has the desire of sex towards you instead of the presence of love? Different people have different opinion and comment based on this question and admittedly, their opinion and comment deserved to be respected because everyone has their own point of view that shouldn’t be judged by anyone else.

I believe there are a few questions which will keep on repeating and swirling in some people’s mind which is…..When is the right time for me to let go of my virginity? Is virginity equals to dignity? If I’m so happened to lost my virginity, will I lost my dignity as well? In spite of dignity, will I get pregnant? Hah!! Undoubtedly, this would be the most commonly self-asked question before it comes into consideration about the giving out virginity thingy.

Well, come to think of it, if, I said IF I’m so ‘fortunate’ to get pregnant at this moment, at this golden age, what should I do and what CAN I do?? It is pretty clear that there are only 2 options, (A)-Abortion, (B)-Be a sexy teenage mama…. Finding a way out from these 2 questions is like someone is forcing to choose between burger or french fries when you are on extreme diet.

“Sex is a sensation of excitement.” No doubt about this. It is an excitement, if you don’t abuse it. Undeniable, while i wrote this article, i was asking myself the same questions too hahaha.